The Precariously Balanced Life

As a full time worker and part time student, I manage to keep busy, but honestly, I am not always busy with the right stuff.  The admonition of Jesus to seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you, usually translates this way in my life:  get up, put breakfast and hot tea together, head to the basement, look at facebook, pray and read your Bible.  Check seeking God’s kingdom off on the list for the day.  

The really sad part of this, other than the fact that God’s kingdom is so much more than that and facebook really was not what Jesus had in mind, and also sometimes I am incredibly late at getting up in the morning, is that it relegates seeking God’s kingdom, or seeking God’s face, what God wants for my life, into just a system.  I am a very systematically minded person.  

I believe, like Woody Allen, that  “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

In other words, although facebook frequently trumps actual prayer time with me, it is good to eventually get to prayer and reading the Bible early in the day.  I have many friends who see the value in spending time with God, but do not see the value of doing it on a daily basis.  I don’t judge them because I can see great fruit in their lives, but with my personality type, A.O.C.D., (Anal and obsessive/compulsive), it is best to have a habit and stick to it.  Okay, so it is not just best, it is essential to warding off panic attacks, but I digress.

It encourages me that God takes that commitment to meet with me seriously whether I can sense His presence or not.  The father of John the Baptist encountered an angel when he went to offer a special sacrifice in the temple.  The angel was sent in answer to his many prayers.  His response:  he did not believe the angel.  I like this because it shows us how God uses us despite our spiritual density, not because of it.  Still, he was in the right place at the right time and God did something.

That’s what I want my time with God to be.  If nothing else, in the right place at the right time.  And God shows up, using me despite my spiritual density.

I love that about God.

If I don’t show up, He still shows up.  Somehow in a child like Sunday school way, the sadness of that keeps me showing up even when it feels like a tea party with teddy bears, because I know He is there.



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