Enigmas

God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. I just got back from a long walk and that thought dropped into my head from Corinthians. It is funny because it was a thinking kind of walk in which I needed to sort things out. At the end of the walk, I was a little discouraged because, quite frankly, the answers to everything had not been dropped into my lap from the heavenly UPS.

I used to think that we should always pray and listen to God’s Spirit when we have a big decision to make and do what we are impressed to do. After a few instances of having to live 2-5 years with decisions made that way, I have mixed emotions about it. Yes, in the long run, all things considered, it worked out well with some benefits that we would not want to trade, but in the short run, I was pretty darn miserable trying to make something work that was never, ever going to work.

However, did things work out well because I made the magically right spiritual decision because I followed an impression or did the God of the Universe just have mercy on me and make things work out because He loves me so darn ridiculously much? Was it His plan that I would be miserable for 3-4 years because of a stupid decision? Or was I reaping the results of a poorly made life decision?

If I had that particular situation to do over again, I would have taken a lot more time to look before I leaped. I would have checked out the situation that I was committing myself to and asked a heck of a lot more questions and just plain waited it out to see if it was right for like at least 3-6 months before committing to anything.

To be honest, I am kind of feeling stuck in a certain situation, and I am ready to make a change. It isn’t the kind of decision that is black/white in the Bible, like the Ten Commandments or don’t break up your marriage or shoot somebody kind of decision, but it weighs on me nonetheless. Part of me does not want to have God tell me what to do. I want to do some investigating and make a decision based on not being miserable.

While trying to be open minded to what God may intend, I am no longer interested in letting my brain fall out. Why not be happy and do God’s will, rather than view them as two separate conditions?

As you can guess, I feel somewhat guilty that I am not just blindly trusting God, but am instead looking around to make a wise decision. I am praying with my hands over my ears, not literally, but that is what is feels like. Somehow, I think that God is okay with it. He isn’t the author of confusion, so I am going to thoroughly check out all of my options this time, and trust that there will be peace before I make a decision.

I am leaving you with a music video from someone who is not famous, but delivers a heart felt message that I really like. She is the daughter of an old friend of mine.

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3 Responses to “Enigmas”

  1. SprinklerBandit Says:

    I’m a firm believer that God gave us mental faculties with the full expectation of us using them. I actually have a really funny analogy about my beagle that I can make… I will write a blog for you. 😉 It’s too long for a comment.

  2. SprinklerBandit Says:

    http://nonequine.blogspot.com/2014/04/going-in-to-water-not-good-life-choice.html

    There!

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