My Funny, Stressful Life

I had fun keeping Dmitri Sunday while his mom and dad went to church. They don’t want to take him to church yet and be exposed to all of the little kids and their germs because he came seven weeks early and spent quite a few days in the NICU. This is great for me and Grandpa. This week he was dressed like Spiderman. What could be more fun than that? Not much in my little world.

I became sick this week and kept having to work even though I felt terrible because I do not have much vacation/sicktime. Our hours have been cut, so I have to supplement my regular hours with my vacation time in order to have enough hours to have health insurance. We have to have insurance right now.

I had two days off this week, yesterday and today. I did not get much done yesterday because I felt so absolutely terrible with congestion and coughing etc., but I cleaned my bathroom. This sounds like a funny thing to some people, but with working and school, it is something I have had to let slip, so it was fun for me to have it clean. I mean, the little cleaning fairies were not going to show up at my door asking for something to do, so it was me doing it while sick or not at all.

I love my clean bathroom. I also did the piles of laundry. I love having clean laundry. Here’s a clue: there weren’t any laundry fairies either! I have to be gone from home so much, that I have actually begun liking doing the laundry and stuff like that because it means that At Least I Get To Be Home.

My husband found out today that he may not have to have his foot amputated if he does everything that the doctor/wound nurse are telling him to do. That is such a huge answered prayer. Still pray for his feet, but things are looking up.

So I am heading into Thanksgiving thanking the Lord for feet, a clean bathroom, and clean laundry. I am still hacking and wiping my nose and cannot speak without squeaking and sounding horrid, and I wish that I did not have to work on Thanksgiving and could spend that day with my family, but I am choosing to overlook that right now. I get to see most of them for breakfast, and have lunch at home with my husband before heading off to work. I need a job, and I need health insurance. I have both. We have food to eat and a place to live. I am content in a lopsided kind of way, feeling more like a survivor than the abundant-life-conqueror that the Bible talks about, but content.

Still missing my mom and thinking of things I want to call and tell her, but can’t.

Grief and contentment make for kind of a lopsided Christian walk, but I am learning to hear what Henri Nouwen calls, “the voice of the beloved.”

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