A New Direction

Well. There are only just so many aspects of a person’s life that are suitable for sharing on the internet. I will say that last semester at school and working full time was absolutely exhausting. I gave my two weeks notice at work and decided to work part time this semester somewhere else. I applied for jobs and got a quick call back for an interview at one of them. Without going into details, it became obvious that  this is not where I want to work right now, and maybe never. I don’t know.

I called an old friend, a friend I have known for over 30 years. She suggested that I just take a month or so off. I think that is the right thing to do.

Last semester my mom died and I took one day off of work. I had to just keep going with a very demanding and unforgiving schedule. It seems like I never got enough sleep or even just time to do little things, necessary things. I could never relax. I am taking a month off to just go to school and maybe apply for some jobs that I would really like to do, or maybe not. Maybe I will take a month off and just do school, and then apply for jobs.

I feel like my inner world is kind of undone and messed up. My values are all whopper-jawed. It is almost as if I acknowledge cerebrally that a person is valuable not for what they can produce, but just because they are, but I feel very, very uncomfortable if I take time to even go get my hair cut. Isn’t that odd?  I have needed to go get my hair cut since about August, but I just could not fit it in anywhere. This will make you laugh: today I went to the store and bought make up. I was running low on makeup last semester and had even less time, so I just totally quit wearing any make up at all to save time. (That might be okay in your twenties, but not in your fifties.) When I went to find it last week, it was pathetic.It had to be thrown out and replaced. I felt like I was furtively buying makeup. And guess what? I cleaned the bathroom and put it all together in my very handy make up basket and went to work around the house doing other things and doing homework. I forgot to actually put it on.

It is like my life lacks bounce and elasticity. I kind of stretched for too long and now I am having a little trouble rebounding. Time off can fix some things. Here’s to a good month.

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2 Responses to “A New Direction”

  1. Lyssa Says:

    So glad you have time off! Sometimes we need space, pause from busyness, to let our souls have time to catch up with our bodies.

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