Reorganization Jungle

jungle

Last night I did a little internet research to see why I keep all of this loaded with memories kind of stuff, and why I cannot seem to part with it. Basically, the answer was that your life was happier then than it is now, so you want it to remind you of better times. That was depressing and sent me into kind of an *emotional tailspin.

*emotional tailspin:this is when you go for a drive by yourself and scream at God in the car. You’re welcome.

Of course my life is crap compared to what it used to be. I used to have really fun kids who lived at my house and we were always reading books and writing and stuff like that. I didn’t have to work and make money or ever have time to sit around a house which is full of stuff and bereft of people for the most part and say, “Is this all there is to life?”

Being a mom of young kids is kind of like being on a moonwalk for twenty years or so. When it is over, being Senator or President or CEO is really kind of a downer in comparison. And that does not mean that I do not love my job as a psych RN. It is my dream job. I work at the best facility with the best possible team. I love caring for these people and being an influence for good in their lives, but it is not as much fun as being a stay at home mom. Nothing is.

Today our daughter in law surprised us and  dropped by with our grandson. She fully loves being a mom. It is so fun to see her in her glory of exhaustion and joy. Dmitri pulled out lots of toys and had loads of fun running around with Grandpa sneaking him animal crackers and holding him on his lap. It was more like becoming a chair when you are holding a two year old. Who else runs out into the kitchen and runs back exclaiming, “Cheese!” Or makes you laugh when he asks for chocolate milk?

After they left, I started going though the stuffed animals and sending texts to our youngest asking if the giant life sized German Shepherd was hers and if she minded if I donated it somewhere else. I slimmed down all of the stuffed toys into six large plastic lidded containers which I had originally purchased for my own clothes closet.

(Clearing out my closet is even more daunting because there are a things there from my mom and my mother in law, two important women in my life who are gone now and still make me cry.)

In the bottom of one of the paper cartons that used to hold stuffed animals was a folded up brown piece of construction paper. When I opened it up, it was a horse, obviously drawn by hand and cut out by the little fingers of the horse lover in our family. It had one of those brass brads holding it together and only three legs.

It is now proudly taped up inside the door of my tea cabinet with my favorite things, a keeper. I  may have to have it framed.  I bet DaVinci’s mom kept stuff too.

 

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